Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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