? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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