Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
