is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
