I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
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Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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