Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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