That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
