Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
