i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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