i just wanna soil my oats bro
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
