At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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