you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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