Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
