Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Panties = found
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
