Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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