yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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