We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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