Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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