No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Someone signed my nipple.
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