Where is the hickey?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
