You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
