The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
