Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
