it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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