did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize