he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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