I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
