...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Found your dick twin last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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