If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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