I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize