and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
