So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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