Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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