so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
