So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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