And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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