some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
