Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
