Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
