Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
