I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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