is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think your dad took our porno
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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