ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
