I look better un-naked...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
