were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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