she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
