My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
