We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
