I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize