Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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