how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The adults are the big ones right?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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