i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
