Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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