So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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