Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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