I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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