mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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