can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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