i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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