I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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