Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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